oh. my. god.

It was bound to happen. In fact, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner...

I was cleaning out Izzy's closet. It's by far the most organized closet in this household, but there were a couple of diaper bags I needed to go through. I thought I'd gone through them all, but then I saw a large black one on the top shelf of her closet. I pulled it down, opened it up, stuck my hand in...

And that's when the largest cockroach I've ever seen in my entire life crawled up my arm and into my hair. I screamed, jumped around in circles, shaking my head like a crazy lady and the cockroach was nowhere to be found. Sometime in the midst of this craziness (no doubt I looked like I was possessed while doing a crazy voodoo dance), I started stripping off my clothes, absolutely sure that... thing ... was crawling around inside my clothes. It was at this time that Izzy came running back to her room (because all of this happened in a matter of seconds) asking "what's wrong Mama, what's wrong?" Half naked, I picked her up and ran out of her room, slamming the door behind us. I grabbed two towels and shoved them in the cracks of the door, hoping to trap that evil thing inside her room. Izzy kept repeating "it's okay Mama, it's okayyyy," while I continued to shake my hair and freak out some more. In fact, I'm still shaking...

When Chris gets home from his interview, it's my plan to lock him in Izzy's room until he finds that thing. I won't be able to sleep knowing it's in the house. Because to my crazy way of thinking, it's plotting to crawl in my ear while I sleep. And there isn't enough Xanax in the world to shake that fear.

Speaking long term, I should definitely work to address this fear. Erin was recently telling me about a friend of hers that went through cockroach therapy, and she is apparently healed now. Since I have no plans on leaving Central Texas, this is going to be a way of life. And I can't keep getting naked and freaking out everytime a roach crosses my path. It goes against my strong-woman nature. And really, Izzy shouldn't have to witness such things. Because right now, as I type this out, she is running around, shaking her head and yelling "Get away from that thing! Get away!" and laughing. And I'm just not okay with that.