because history ALWAYS repeats itself.

Chris and I are about to embark on yet another adventure. It seems we can't stay away from them. Just when we think the dust is settled, just when we let out our first breath of fresh air, a storm blows through again. I think a therapist would say we ask for it. I think (if I'm completely honest with myself) I'd have to agree. While I didn't stand outside and do a raindance this time, I definitely didn't "batten down the hatches". And I most definitely knew the consequences to saying "yes".

Now the goal will be for Chris and I to remain a united front. Today we had a discussion about the difference between "support" and "agreeance". While discussing our current situation I said "I support you on this, but I don't agree. It will be your job to make the case for your argument." This comment disturbed him because I think he felt I might undermine him at some point. "When you are met with this discussion later," he lectured, "I hope you don't state it in that way. You can leave out the part where you don't agree." As anyone who knows me knows, I can't leave out my opinion. So that would be impossible for me to do (as I explained to him in detail). But it won't change the outcome. I DO support him on this particular matter. I understand why he feels the way he does. I understand that he is probably a better judge on this situation than I am. Which, of course, is why I support him. But it doesn't change the fact that I don't agree. It doesn't change the fact that I would do things differently. And sharing my opinion doesn't undermine the final decision. Because at the end of the day, I have agreed to follow his direction on this (which is not always the case), and I'm fully able to explain why I'm able to follow it despite our differences in opinion.

I think the ability to support, yet disagree, is absolutely key in all relationships (romantic, familial, work and friendships). It's saying "I trust your input on this matter. I trust that I may not have the best information available. So I stand beside you whatever happens." That's not to say that I'll go behind his back with my opinion. I plan on openly expressing my varying views on the matter. But I also plan on confessing that I'm a "bleeding heart liberal" who often gets screwed for being "too nice".

Honestly, I think that's the reason Chris and I work so well together. We are opposite ends of the pole. I donate to causes and homeless people, he says "get a job". I take people in, he kicks people out. I rattle on for hours, he quietly observes. I make him a better person, he makes me a smarter person. The two of us together make for one powerful entity. But separately, we are just two extremes trying to survive in a world of gray. And it's with that knowledge that I am able to confidently say "I support your decision, but kindly disagree."