Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dear Ovaries, why do you do this to me?

I once worked with a girl who claimed PMS was "an excuse" created by women to excuse their bitchiness. I should have said it then, but instead I'm going to say it now: "Screw you Erin." I'm not a gynecologist, but I'm telling you, there is something to this PMS.

I consider myself a fairly self-aware 30-something and I'm positive that I did not just use the "PMS excuse" to spend $130 on groceries consisting of 2 pints of ice cream, a Betty Crocker "Decadent Carrot Cake", hair color and Half & Half. I NEVER buy any of those things. In fact, now that I think about it, I only buy hair color when I'm on my period. I'm going to say it has something to do with my self-loathing during that time. But I swear at the time I was absolutely convinced that ALL of those things were essential to my happiness. It wasn't until I got home and unloaded groceries that I thought "WTF?"

The only reason I went to the store in the first place was because I was tired of yelling at my husband. Something else I NEVER do unless I'm on my period. No excuses there, just cold hard facts. And it should be noted that he is better at predicting my cycle than I am at this point. Because I buy dumbass shit from the grocery store and yell a lot. So once again, screw you Erin. I hope you are enjoying your well-balanced personality, free of the PMS rollercoaster.


  1. have i told you lately that i love you? that theres no one else above you? you fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness. ease my troubles, that's what you do.

  2. Well, I'm not sure at all if this will help with your PMS, but...congrats! I've given you an Honest Scrap award. Feel free to pick your award up in my latest post, and thanks for being an Honest Scrap:

  3. I'm on the same train. I woke up Monday morning hating the world. Thanks PMS!

  4. hey honey, someone left this thing for you on my blog. i think i might be the only one really qualified to give this to you.